Kindergarten Challenges

In May, Issac & I attended Kindergarten Jump Start at his school & got him all signed up & ready to go in the fall.  In August, Issac got to Kindergarten Camp, where he went to his school for three half days.  He got to meet all the staff & learn the layout of his school & all the “Be Safe, Be Kind, Be Productive” rules. Then the week before school started, Issac & I attended an entrance conference where we got to meet his teacher & see his classroom.

 Obviously, as I write this we are a couple months in to the school year.  I have had time to fully digest and get used to this whole kindergarten, gone all day, heart break.  I will be honest; Kindergarten was more difficult than I expected.  I cried for days. I was scared to let my number one go off on his own all day. Some of the tears were out of frustration.  Issac was ready to be Mr. Independent and ride the bus to and from school, purchase hot lunch and be on his own all day without me.  On day three I went in to the school’s office with a list of questions that the office staff could not answer.  WOW, they couldn’t tell me where my son would find his lunch card once I loaded it with money online or where do they go when they get off the bus 20 minutes before class starts. These were just a few of my concerns. I felt like as a new parent, without older siblings that already attended that school I could have been provided with more information.  None the less, we figured it all out together.

 Lights are out at bed time by 7;30 most nights because I wake Issac up at 6:20 am for school.  He has breakfast & then Issac rides the bus to school. Some days he takes cold lunch & other days known as pizza, chicken and hot dog days he likes to eat hot lunch.....and drink chocolate milk!  When he gets to school, he goes to the cafeteria with his friends; sometimes eating hot breakfast before lining up for class that starts at 8:05an.  We have finally achieved a routine that works for us.

The first week of school, Issac was injured at our apartments by an older child. I am going to avoid details because we DID press charges on the 13 year old minor involved. Issac was injured, his Right Clavicle was broken.  Issac was really frustrated by his lack of mobility.  He was unable to participate in Physical Education class, unable to play soccer and unable to do the monkey bars.  He started with a shoulder brace and then wore a back brace for 4 weeks before fully being released after eight weeks.

As September turned in to October and Issac healed from his injury we had another small problem-Issac’s behavior at school. I associated Issac’s misbehavior with him being frustrated with his injury.  However, as the school year continued it seemed there were daily behavioral problems in class. Fidgeting, breaking crayons & pencils, vocal disruptions were all happening more frequently than we would like…DAILY. I would leave after school pick up and cry the entire way home after being scolded by his teacher for this or that.  I realized that I couldn’t do this all year, cry five days a week or let my child feel bad about his behavior to a point that he loses interest in school. Every situation went through my head & I wonder if I should change teachers? Change school? Hold off another year?  The stress and concern was overwhelming so I opened up and began discussing my situation with those around me, other parents, preschool teachers, Tyler. I was ready & asked Issac’s teacher for a few minutes of her time.  I followed some good advice that I needed to be very clear in my communication and I told her that 1- I wanted to work with her i.e.-be a team & 2- I asked her if she felt that I should pull Issac out of Kindergarten and wait another year. I think she was surprised that I asked the question that most parents fear but her answer reassured me that Issac was in the right spot.  She told me that academically Issac was in the right spot and he was more than prepared to be in Kindergarten.

At Issac’s last shoulder appointment with his pediatrician we approached the subject & discussed Issac’s behavior problems as he crawled around on the floor counting all the wheels on the table & chairs in the room. We honestly have known Issac had ADHD without being diagnosed since he was three.  We have managed it through routine and avoiding traumatic outbursts by avoiding his triggers. But mostly, we have controlled his diet by eliminating food dyes completely.  It was easier for me to manage when I was with Issac a majority of the time, but all day kindergarten is 6.5 hours a day, five days a week. She set us up a behavioral analysis appointment & sent us home with questionnaires for us and Issac’s past & present teachers. 

It was a week of emotions as we tackled one of life’s challenges through multiple discussions and hours of research.  I was scared of all the “what-ifs”. I feared opinionated backlash from friends & family. I feared that the medication would change Issac’s fun loving personality. I was scared to be responsible for a drug-induced foggy kid. I felt responsible as if I could have prevented this somehow or someway. I questioned my parenting. I cried.  I felt every kind of emotion but in the end we decided that we wanted to do whatever we could to help our son achieve his maximum potential in life. And Although Tyler & I were both apprehensive, we are six weeks in and currently seeing great results of Issac’s ADHD medication.

It feels good to not spend my days sitting at home chomping at the bit wondering if my child is behaving at school.  I do realize he is a five year old boy & he can’t & won’t be an angel all day every day. Issac is no-longer experiencing daily trouble or control problems at school.  He is realizing that it feels good to get stickers.  We are trying to teach him to recognize the difference is positive and negative attention & which feels better to him.  He is in control. Our only side affect has been a slight loss of appetite. He has memorized 25 “high-frequency” words and is reading level one & Dr Seuss bright and early reader books to us each night.  He truly enjoys all aspects of Kindergarten, being social, learning new things, PE, music and library.  We are proud of him.